Bootstrappin’

The amount of unnecessary signage in Japan is a constant source of amusement for me. And in the new Osaka train station, I came across a stunning example.

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Pete has been singing “I Think I’m Turning Japanese” by the Vapors ad infinitum, so it should probably be posted here, eh? And maybe it’s true, a little bit. I mean, I don’t even think twice about changing my shoes three times to walk through a house anymore.

Japan has a lot of rules, and there are signs like this posted everywhere. I don’t know what half of these pictures even mean, but I have some guesses (from left to right, top to bottom):

1. No smoking.
2. No black dogs with white ears.
3. No calculating of the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow.
4. No DYNAMITE. (Dynamite is the greatest drinking game in the history of the world, involving dice, yelling of the phrase “DYN-O-MITE” and (sometimes) explosions. I’m pretty sure that’s what this picture is referring to, and if so, I must respectfully decline to follow that rule.
5. No playing baseball with soccer balls. Makes sense. Soccer balls are way too big for baseball gloves anyway.
6. No skater punks (understandable — they suck) and No homosexuals (because who else still rollerblades in public? Come on!)
7. No dropping your juggling balls if you are a juggler. Keep those balls in the air and off the ground, or don’t juggle at all!
8. No left-handed people.
9. We didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning.

See, you don’t even have to know Japanese to get around here!

The Japanese are very thorough people, especially when it comes to signs. That’s why the put SEVEN (count ’em, SEVEN!) signs warning of “Falling Rocks” within twenty feet of each other on this slope on the way down from Mt. Fuji. This, of course, is just a small selection of the hundreds of warning signs along the way, but I think it illustrates Japanese overkill pretty well! (Click the photo above for a bigger version.)

Before I came to Japan, I had already formulated a pretty strong opinion about Mt. Fuji. Fuji is the tallest mountain in Japan, and one of the most famous mountains in the world, climbed by over 200,000 people per year. In fact, I’d say that more people could identify Mt. Fuji by picture alone than any other mountain – its perfect symmetry, its gentle slopes, its omnipresent ring of clouds…I can’t think of any other mountain that is more distinct. Mt. Fuji is a Japanese icon – probably even moreso than Hello Kitty.

(This isn't what it actually looks like. The fog at the top makes it practically invisible.)

And like all natural icons in Japan, I had been told that Mt. Fuji had been tamed and turned into the most touristy of tourist attractions.

“Everyone in Japan climbs to the top of it, even 80 year old grandmas!” people told me.

“The trail is paved all the way to the top, and there are vending machines and restaurants the whole way!”

“It’s so crowded, you literally have to wait in line as you’re climbing up!”

“A few years ago, there was a guy who pogo-sticked to the top for a Guinness World Record. How hard could it be?”

Well, yes, all of these things are true – at least partially. But there was one thing I was not expecting: Mt. Fuji is actually a very tough climb.

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I’d heard all about Japanese efficiency before coming to Japan: conveyer belt restaurants; auto-parking bike garages; toilets that do the clean-up for you; and of course, capsule hotels. So, after a few days in the country, I figured it was time to experience one of these most definitively Japanese hotels first hand.

Capsule hotels consist of stacked rooms only slightly larger than the size of a coffin, specifically designed for thrifty Japanese businessmen, and apparently, curious foreigners. All there’s really room to do in your capsule is sleep, or do things you’d normally do in a tiny coffin-sized room: read, watch TV, pretend you’re Dracula, etc. It’s like a cross between your standard youth hostel dormitory (cheap, with bunk beds and shared bathrooms) and a normal hotel (expensive, but private and comfortable)… with a little bit of 2001: A Space Odyssey thrown in.

We stayed at our first capsule hotel right in the bustling metropolis of Shinjuku, Tokyo — and despite the claustrophobic appearance, it was actually pretty damn comfortable.

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In my first few days in Japan, I’ve observed two things: Japan is a filthy country, and the people are all incredibly rude.

… … …

Yeah, yeah, yeah… that’s not true at all. Tokyo is probably the most hospitable, comfortable places I’ve ever been — aside from the overwhelming heat, that is. Yes, the people are super polite, helpful and dutiful. Yes, everything is clean and (sometimes unnecessarily) high-tech. Yes, some things are incredibly confusing and complex.

And yes, Lost in Translation and all of those travelouges / Ripley’s Believe it Or Not type shows mostly hit the nail on the head. Just about everything I was expecting about Japanese culture and infrastructure has turned out to be true — with a few very pronounced exceptions.

In short: Japan’s a weird, but also very inviting place.

Anyway, here are my observations about Japan:

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Pete and I arrived in Tokyo yesterday. Here we are on our first full day in the city:

So…now what?

I’m leaving on a jet plane…don’t know when I’ll be back again.

It’s my last day in the USA for a looong time. I’ve packed up all of my stuff, moved out of my apartment, put my car in storage, wrapped up my job, packed my backpack, tied up most of the loose ends…and I’m finally ready to go.

Here goes nothing…

Off to the Land of the Rising Sun!

From my understanding, this is what a typical chap brings when he goes hitchhiking:

• Bindle.
• Pack of Smokes and/or large block of chewin’ tobacky.
• Harmonica.
• Can of beans.
• Knife.

Anything beyond that is probably unnecessary.

Then again, we’re traveling around the world for months, to first world and developing nations. We’ll be staying anywhere from a classy hotel, to a tent in a tropical swamp, to sleeping under the stars in the desert, so we need to bring supplies for all sorts of situations. We are also hoping to maintain a certain degree of cleanliness and classiness on the trip, which wouldn’t concern your typical hitchhiking bum – after all, we want to make a good impression and make friends along the way. In short, we need a lot of gear, and it has to be carefully chosen.

So here it is then, EVERYTHING I’ve brought with me.

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